We got your size update today and two new pictures! One picture is of you holding the monkey we made for you. We all gave it hugs and we even put some perfume and cologne on it for you to smell. And now YOU have it and are holding it! It was such an exciting moment to see your little face - so mesmerizing... but when I saw what you were holding, I yelled out, "SAMMY HAS HIS MONKEY!" Your sisters and brother came running to see. We went upstairs to tell Daddy who was on a work call. He had just hung up and I told him there was something downstairs that I thought he'd really want to see. The kids could barely contain their excitement for him to see you holding your monkey. He saw your face and was so happy, but then Lily and Phoebe pointed out what you were holding and he was just as surprised as I was! What a thrill!
I guess I'm surprised today that your picture has brought me more than just joy. It's brought a tremendous heart ache. It's not your fault, of course. This is how it goes... the last few weeks before we are given a new child. The joy in waiting wanes and the feeling of readiness increases... even though we aren't actually ready by any check list standard, our hearts are so ready. I cannot even begin to tell you how it feels to want to reach into my computer screen and pick you up... you in your little white long sleeved t-shirt. I'm wearing one of those today so I can just imagine what it would feel like to put my hands under your arms and lift you up off that bed.
I imagine you are sitting there pressing the buttons over and over just like your brother did. I hope you are. I hope you get used to our voices. I bet you listen to Daddy's voice the most just like Titus.
Oh Sammy, how are we going to make it through these last few weeks apart? I will pray tonight that we get our last signature tomorrow. I pray that your little body is healthy and free from pain or harm. You look like you're being a good boy eating! You know what I love about your pictures when we get them? That you still look little. I know - it's important that you're growing. But, each time we get an update, I momentarily wonder if you'd have grown up so much since the last time. I'm always pleasantly surprised. Each picture is even more captivating that the last as we see a tiny glimpse more at who you are - your personality. We take in every detail... your surroundings, your clothes, your skin and facial expression, the light in your eyes.
Soon. I'll keep telling myself that it's soon. I am so glad you have your monkey.
I love you, Honey.
Mama
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