I wish I would have been able to blog more during our trip to China so I could go back and remember the details easily. Usually the details come to me while I'm driving and I only wish I could write them down. Right now, I have a rare quiet moment and want to try and write down some of the memories.
I think Phil and I both feel a little weird calling the first day we met Sammy "Gotcha Day"... it just sounds strange coming out of our mouths. We're trying to figure out what that day is in our minds - but it's definitely Day One - that's for sure!
It was such an unbelievable shock to see Sammy for the first time in the atrium of the government building. I had played out every scenario I could think of for that moment in my head over the prior several months and this was never in my wildest dreams. It made it extra special for me. It wasn't how I'd planned. I planned to have camera ready and there to be a moment - a defining moment... either we walked into the Civil Affairs office and saw him or we waited for him to arrive... but either way, I expected it to be different. But God knew that surprising me would be a way more fun gift and memory to me. I've not known the arrival time of any of our children, so why should Sammy be any different?
Backing up a little, it was such an interesting day of waiting. I remember we ate our meals in the hotel and took our sweet time getting ready. We watched some tv (baseball) and got the ergo all ready. We were supposed to meet in the hotel lobby at 3:30pm. I guess I expected that we'd be able to meet Sammy in the morning. Anyway, we drove the 20 minutes to the gov't building and the van dropped us off at the front steps. We walked up the steps and although there was much hustle and bustle outside, as we walked in, the huge spacious atrium was completely vacant... except for a small group passing from the right to the left a little ways in front of us - and that's when I saw Sammy's monkey in the arms of one of the ladies. My eyes searched quickly and my ears heard our guide say something like "there he is" or his name or something. But since she was directly in front of me as I was coming up the steps, I had to quick look around her head to see Sammy. I frantically was fumbling to get the camera out and just hit record while I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He took my breath away. Even in the video, my voice sounds so high-pitched and surprised.
Phil was behind me so I don't know what his face looked like. We were both so shocked to see him right there. He was so beautiful. And he wasn't exactly little either.
After we got upstairs to the 30th floor, our guide told me to give Sammy a snack and then he'd come to me. He was tentative to put the cheerio in his mouth so I touched his hand to tell him it was okay and he put it in his mouth. I thought he ate several before they gave him to me, but in the video, it shows that he only ate one. He was SO wide-eyed and rapidly taking it all in. He was so curious and just soaking everything in. I remember putting my hands under his arms and taking him from the nanny and realizing he wasn't malnourished or slight. He was just how he should be. I was surprised at how squishy and easy to hold he was. I was surprised at how soft his skin was. When I kissed his cheek, he was warm and soft and baby-like.
Since there was clearly no protocol, we went into the hallway to be able to talk to the nannies and that's when Phil said he'd like to hold Sammy. It was such a crazy feeling - seeing Phil finally hold the son that he so desperately wanted to hold. We had a list of questions for the nannies and the guide helped me ask them while Phil held Sammy and gave him more cheerios. The nannies had brought a bag - a pair of shoes, an outfit, and they also gave us a scrapbook they'd made for Sammy. I was so surprised by the book - I couldn't even believe how special that gift was and that they would be so kind to us and Sammy.
It was a really cool feeling to get in the van and hold Sammy as we drove away. One of the many times I enjoyed Sammy as we drove away from somewhere. I think that will be a moment in my memory etched forever - so thankful in that moment that China doesn't require carseats.
With all my heart, I believe that Jesus Himself flipped a switch in Sammy and he knew he was with his Mommy and Daddy. He just never looked back. He settled into my lap and we drove away and never again was I the stranger. Sammy had his family and seemed to just accept that in this moment, he was ours and never ever acted otherwise.
Throughout our time in China, people would talk to Sammy or touch him or stare or point. He never reached for anyone else to hold him or pick him up. On a few occasions we passed him to someone - our guide as we were saying good-bye to her; the nannies at the orphanage so they could say good-bye. I let our GZ guide hold Sammy on the river boat cruise for a little bit. He enjoyed other people holding him, but he'd soon return to me. He called me Mama from Day 1. I remember when we were in the airport and I heard Sammy's loud voice call out "BABA!" as he was looking to see where Phil had gone.
After a few days of exclusively calling Sammy his original Chinese name, we started saying Sammy with it and then just Sammy some of the time. He responded to us so well.
Something that we really got a kick out of was that Sammy would have a tiny laugh every time Phil opened a bottle of soda and would sigh every time I would let out a deep breath. It was so funny. I remember getting on the tour bus several times in GZ and sighing a nice cleansing sigh subconsciously and then hearing Sammy do the same thing. We quickly learned to listen for Sammy's laugh when Phil was going to open a coke. Even if he was otherwise occupied with a toy or something, he'd still let out a little laugh.
It wasn't all rosy those first couple of weeks. I remember the first few days feeling really overwhelmed about the unknowns of Sammy's physical condition and needs. We were surprised by the size of his noggin and thought maybe there was more going on then we realized. He also had a very contagious skin virus that we were trying to quickly understand. We weren't sure about the translation of the medical terms from our guide. Karla, the adoption agency's travel director, sent our pictures of Sammy's skin to the adoption clinic in Birmingham and a doctor explained that it was Molluscus Contagiousum and would go away on its own in a year or so.
Monday was Sammy's adoption day. We were supposed to go in the morning for the interview and then come back later for the official papers, but our guide told us that the notary was going to be there while we were there so they thought we could get it all done in one trip. We waited our turn for the interview. Our guide, Celine, helped the clerk get papers organized to help speed up the process. Once it was our turn, we sat with Sammy in front of the clerk's desk and answered questions about our commitment to Sammy and his care. We promised to never abandon him. After the interview, we signed all the papers from the clerk and then put our thumb prints in blue ink over each signature. Then Sammy had to get his foot inked in blue and stamp the back of each page. It was a really cool feeling knowing they were getting his "signature" too.
After that interview, then we also met with the notary. We waited around for a while. While we were meeting with the notary, one of the nannies held Sammy and talked to him and gave him snacks. Seemed like we waited quite a while. We visited with another couple who was adopting a peanut of a girl. The mom told me how upset they were the day before when they saw her for the first time. (She still seemed upset.) The girl seemingly had lost a lot of weight since the picture they had received in her referral. So much so that the mom and dad weren't sure that she was even the right girl. We talked about our agencies for a little while and experiences and then out of nowhere, Celine came over and bent over and said "It's official! Congratulations!" It was so unexpected - and anti-climactic that I wasn't even sure what she was saying. I kind of fumbled over my words as I tried to comprehend what she was saying. "The adoption? He's officially ours?" "Yes." She was so even-keeled in her personality. All her answers were poised and gentle, but periodically she showed slight amusement. I think she was amused at my surprise. I can't remember at what point Sammy had his picture taken, both with us and by himself. I think it was on this day and not the day before. Anyway, the three of us posed for a family picture in front of the iconic red Adoption Office sign. Celine had given us an official book with the adoption decree and a copy of the adoption decree in it.
I remember that after the adoption, we had to get some things we needed for Sammy. We asked Celine to take us back to Walmart (we'd gone shopping for a number of items the day before - but were mostly like deer in headlights and just put random stuff in the cart). She asked what we needed. I think our list was: socks, burp cloths, bibs, tooth brush, changing mat. She took us to a baby store instead. I would have preferred Walmart because I think we paid too much for the things we bought, but it was fine. The ladies there asked Celine if Sammy was Chinese and why we had him. She explained that we have adopted him. She had warned us that people wouldn't understand international adoption and that many people would be curious as to why we had a Chinese child. Most people have never heard of such a thing and didn't understand why we'd want to do that.
We had raman noodles for dinner that night and Sammy had a bath and chewed on the toothbrush we bought him. I remember he had the most unbelievable breath and the wildest smelling diapers I've ever smelled! I also remember that no matter the time of day, Sammy went to sleep within seconds if we just laid him down and closed the curtains. Speaking of sleeping, the day we first brought him back to the hotel, we played for a while and then Sammy crawled over to a spot on the floor and laid down to go to sleep. It was so striking. It is another one of those moments I won't forget because I remember seeing first hand that Sammy was just taking care of himself and not understanding that he now had a Mommy and a Daddy to put him to bed. Phil reached over and picked him up and told him it was okay. He told Sammy that now he had a Mommy and Daddy who would put him to bed and that we could see he was tired. I put Elmo jammies on him and gave him a bottle. We tried a #4 nipple thinking he'd had a cut nipple at the orphanage like we'd heard about, but the milk was going into his mouth so fast he could hardly keep up. Fortunately, I'd all brought a slow flow nipple so Phil grabbed that and it worked better for him. Anyway, anytime Sammy was put in his crib, all we had to do was close the curtains and he literally was asleep in seconds. He never stands up or fools around even now months later as I'm writing this.
Tuesday, we got up and had breakfast and then went to the Terracotta Warriors and Horses Museum. It was fun to tour around and feel like a new family. I felt special carrying around my new baby in the ergo. We saw how the soldiers and horses were made and bought some souvenirs and then went to the actual pits where the soldiers and horses were. I didn't realize but archeologists are still to this day digging them up and restoring them. Sammy slept in the ergo (after being upset by the crowd in Pit 1). We were really sensitive to the fact that he might be overwhelmed by all the stimulation so I stayed kind of away from the crowds until he fell asleep. I sang to him quite a bit, too. After finishing the tour, there was a panda bear mascot waving to people. I said - OH let's take our picture with him! After we did that, the panda showed us the sign behind him that said we needed to pay $3. I felt so silly for not having seen that but it is what it is. We had lunch at subway and were SO hungry. Every morning I took a banana from the buffet while we were in China to make sure I always had something to eat in our bag for him. We also had cheerios and other snacks. He liked the peanut butter granola bars. Once we introduced him to the goldfish, the cheerios no longer interested him. He LOVED goldfish! I had packed a red and yellow snack cup that he easily figured out and used the whole trip.
Tuesday afternoon, Sammy played after his nap. We'd put all the toys we'd brought into the bottom drawer of the dresser. It was cute that he remembered where to find his toys each day and loved exploring what was in the drawer. He was very good about putting them away when he was finished. I decided we needed to at least venture out of our hotel at least once while we were there and Celine had recommended a great noodle place just down the street. We walked and walked and honestly, nothing looked at all familiar - mainly because when she showed us around on Saturday when we'd flown in, we were so jet lagged and overwhelmed that we really didn't retain anything she was saying. We finally picked a small restaurant that we could see had pictures on their menus. We picked out a meal by the picture. The server only spoke Mandarin and obviously the only thing we could say was Thank you. :D But Celine had given us a sheet of paper that had words on it written in Chinese for us. I pointed to the word that was supposed to me "only a little spicy" and the server seemed pleased.
It was brutal waiting for our meal. There is free-smoking in all places... even in elevators. The restaurant was a giant cloud and my throat and nose burned as we waited for our meal. Finally it came and the bowl was the hugest platter known to man filled with amazing food. Unfortunately, there was a bird hand in it which kind of turned Phil off to eating it. But once we got past the hand, the meat and vegetables were delicious! Sammy really liked it too. Phil went and paid while I got Sammy's little new baby blue coat on and then we left and walked back to our hotel. Everyone looked at us. I would normally think they were looking because we are Americans, but most of the time, I'm pretty sure they were looking at Sammy. As we grew to understand through the two weeks, Sammy was strikingly handsome to the Chinese people. Everyone who saw him would comment and point and even say things to us in English about how good looking is was. :) We enjoyed it a lot! :D
Wednesday, we did a couple tours. The first was of the city wall. The provincial capitals have city walls. Xi'an expanded outside the city walls, so there are actually three loops around the city (like Chicago has a loop to go around the city... ya, Xi'an has THREE). It was really fun and beautiful to see the wall and climb up and take pictures. We enjoyed learning all that Celine talked about. She is a trained tour guide so she has a tour guide pass to get into everything for free. She would go get our tickets and then wear her badge around her neck. She had to memorize giant volumes of information to earn the title.
After the city wall tour, we went to see the Wild Goose Pagoda. I didn't realize it, but when we arrived soon found out we were going to a Buddhist temple. God was very gracious because soon after we arrived, Sammy fell asleep in the ergo that Phil wore and slept through the entire tour. It was incredibly beautiful - the gardens and buildings. I remember the moment when I realized where we were. I was looking ahead and saw inside the pagoda up the steps and saw the bright gold Buddha. My heart almost stopped as I looked around and took in my surroundings with new understanding. I asked Celine if the people around us were there to worship or to tour. She said both. As we ascended the steps leading up to the main temple she talked about how it was a working monastery and the monks were living in the quarters on the other sides of the gardens. She explained the red ribbons, candles, and incense as wishes people come to make. I had lots of questions and rapidly tried to fully understand the worship practices and rituals and the intentions of the people around us. I wanted to understand if they truly believed in what they were doing.
The answer I got is no. Celine said that 95% of the people aren't Buddhist but only come when they want something or want to make a wish. She said that the people are taught in school that there is nothing to believe. There are many stories out there and in school they learn it all. But each temple we went to, Celine talked about the Buddhas as if they were real. I couldn't understand why she would do that until it dawned on me that she was not a Believer in Jesus Christ. I asked her if she goes to services at a temple and she chuckled and said only when she wants something. And then she asked me what I believe. !!! Seriously? I mean who gets the opportunity to share the Gospel at a Buddhist temple? Oh right! Phil - March 4th when he was in China the first time, he was able to talk all about Jesus as he toured a Buddhist temple with his coworker.
It was awesome. Celine had several questions but said that it would be hard for a Chinese person to believe what I was saying to be true because of the education they have had. Later on as we were walking down the long outdoor hall, she asked me about what I believe about after I die. I had told her earlier about it, but now she was asking about me specifically. We talked much further about it and I asked her where she thought she'd go when she dies. She said she's never thought about it. It was a totally new idea to her. I encouraged her to think about it and asked if she could get a Bible easily. She said yes. She's extremely educated and I encouraged her to really look into the Bible and learn more about the subject.
After the pagoda, we went to the front where there are hundreds of fountains. We got there in time for a huge musical display as the fountains shoot water to the music. Many songs were played and I loved every minute. It was spectacular!
We walked to Burger King after the fountain show and were amused by a tv in there teaching the Chinese people about American idioms. Piece of cake; fish out of water; etc. It was fun to have Celine guess what each idiom meant and then explain the meanings. After that we went back to walmart because Phil had exploded his phone charger at the hotel. Celine helped us at the hotel get a better power converter once we returned from walmart with the new phone charger.
That evening, I made Sammy congee for the first time. I think it was a bean and corn congee. We had gotten a couple of cans while we were at walmart on day one. It was nice that we at least had an electric hot water pitcher in the room so we could eat up water for raman noodles and have Sammy's bottles and cans of congee warm in the boiling water pot.
Thursday we got up very early and caught a flight to Yulin to visit Sammy's orphanage.
No comments:
Post a Comment