Lord, how will my heart survive? Which child is ours? Will you help me wait? What will it be like to go to China? Will this dream be a reality? Will the money be there when we need to pay each bill? Will our child be healthy? Will You please make our child feel loved today, Jesus? I know that children can know You. I know You are a Father to the fatherless. My heart aches. Please dry my tears and help me to press on. Help me to fly through the paperwork with Your divine help. Children are a gift - please bless us again in Your timing. And help me to be patient. And while I'm learning to be patient, again, please make this time go fast for our little one or ones that are waiting in China. I know You love them - and that is better than anything I could ever offer.
I want to have a video like this, God.
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow faint." I remember my mom telling me once that a mother's love is as strong as a bear and that if she needed to, she could lift a car to get to me. I have that love, Lord. But I need You to move heaven and earth so I can get to my little ones. Because I am sitting here and can't get to them.
Thank you for how this process is going to bring me closer to Yourself. Help me to fix my gaze always on You. Help others to see You through me and through this adoption.
Thank You, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me so that I can sit here and pray directly to You like this. I am humbled. Please let me tell my little ones about You.
Amen.
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