Journey to Jemma: Day 6 - Orphanage Visit

Daddy has been promoted from Guest blogger to Contributor.  Here is my take on Orphanage Day.

This is the day of the trip that is the most difficult to describe.  I’ll try my best to articulate the jumble of conflicting thoughts and emotions.  

Visiting the orphanage is like going on a scavenger hunt for puzzle pieces.  It is an opportunity to find as many puzzle pieces of the first 21 months of her life as we can, in order to try and piece them together to learn the start of her story.  Some of the pieces aren’t pretty.  Some of them are beautiful.  Some of them don’t fit together.  Some make sense.  Some of them I’d rather not have to put in the picture.  Some of them I’m so grateful that I can.  This is adoption.  This is life.  It all comes together to into a masterpiece that the Lord is putting together.

We woke up early to get ready for the visit.  We had to leave by 7:30 to make our 10:30 appointment.  We packed the big backpack full of everything we might need during the day - drinks, toys, snacks, baby supplies, extra clothes for Jemma, that sort of thing.  She wore her special bunny outfit with balloons - symbolizing that she was being taken up, up and away from the orphanage for good.  And it is adorable.  We had breakfast - no Starbucks since it wasn’t open yet.  We climbed into the van for the three hour trip.  We watched the morning commute traffic in Nanjing - which is a blur of cars, pedestrians, bikes and scooters coming and going in every direction.  Our speed picked up after leaving the city and we got on the highway connecting Nanjing to Shanghai, which would lead us into Suzhou.  Jemma fell asleep about an hour into the trip (praise the Lord!) so I went into the back row of the van and slept until we got to Suzhou.

We pulled up to the gate of a ginormous complex.  It is a social welfare institute so there are facilities for the elderly, the sick, the mentally disabled and ill, and a hospital in addition to the orphanage.  It is only two years old and it is a really nice facility.  We had read that it is an example facility for other cities to model after.

We met the assistant director and head of nannies in the lobby.  We gave them the 10 gifts for the nannies that worked on Jemma’s floor, the A&D ointment we brought and the wrong size diapers for Jemma that we bought.  They put them in a room for handing out another time.  Later, we realized we forgot to take the gifts out of our awesome IKEA foldable travel bag and ended up inadvertently donating that too.

We then walked over to the Children’s Welfare building.  There were panda statues out front so we took our pictures with those.  Inside the lobby was a cool fish tank that Jemma liked.  There were cartoon characters on the walls.  The decor was very nice.  We took the elevator up to her floor.  We walked down the hallway and through some security doors.  

Our first stop was at the playroom.  There were a handful of kids playing in there with two nannies.  The room was nice.  It had cool stuff and some of the climbing blocks we have in our basement for the kids. They kindly asked if Jemma wanted to play.  The way it was asked seemed to indicate that they were saying drop her off while we continued on.  There was no way I was leaving that girl.  She was staying with daddy and mommy.  I asked if we could go in and play too.  I thought it would be fun to play with the other kids with Jemma.  But it seems like that wasn’t an option as they just said that we would continue on. 

We then walked into a a room that was separated into two parts.  A play space and the room with all the cribs.  There were three children on the play mat by themselves. One child was crying loudly out on the balcony with a nanny.  In the other room there was one nanny and a couple kids in their cribs sleeping.  The cribs were wooden and the bedding was nice.  We got to see Jemma’s crib.  The nanny gave us the name card that was with the crib that had Jemma's picture and birthdate on it.

After a while, the kids that were playing in the playroom were brought in on some strollers by the nannies.  They were going to eat.  We took a picture with the nanny who gave us the card.  I went and played with Jemma in the play area.  Bethany was able to read a 10 little monkeys snap book to the boy whose crib was next to Jemma’s.  We told the nannies that they could keep the book for the room and that all of the kids could share it.  All the children in there were boys.  I didn’t count how many cribs - I’d guess 12-16.  I was hoping to be able to play with the kids - interact with Jemma's friends and share some needed love with them.  But it didn’t work out since the kids were eating.  So she and I played on the floor for a few minutes until Bethany finished reading the book and it was time to move on.  I had Jemma wave to the remaining kids, and I waved and blew kisses to each one of them.  Most of them were standing in their cribs, none of them responded back.  But I was happy Jemma could say goodbye.  It is so sad knowing most of those children will never be adopted.

We then were shown the actives rooms, special needs rooms, medical rooms, and a few other rooms.  Then we went down the stairs and out to the playground.  It was nice and brand new.  There was a cool playground fort with slides.  Apparently Jemma doesn’t like slides since she wanted nothing to do with that photo op.  Everything was wet from rain.  One of the little rocking horses was dry so we let her rock on that which she liked.  We got on a large metal two sided bench swing and took pictures.  Then it was time to move on.

We left that building and headed over to a more central building.  We were shown into a reception room.  We sat down and were told we could ask questions we had.  We weren’t prepared for that - we had asked everything in Nanjing earlier in the week.  We came up with some questions about the orphanage to buy us some time.  There are 180 children 0-18 in the facility.  About 30 children were adopted in the two years since they’d moved to the new building.  They said Jemma was matched with another family, but they backed out.  I said, lucky for us - and they seemed to appreciate that comment.  We asked for Jemma's medical records and asked about some of those details.

After that it was lunch time so we walked over to the food services building.  There is a beautiful garden and pond on the way.  We took several pictures there.  In the lobby there was a giant Suzhou embroidery that the city is famous for.  We took more pictures with that.

We went past the main dining halls and into one of the VIP rooms.  A couple people joined us - but were never introduced.  Our places were set with a fork and knife - Bethany’s had chopsticks too.  The director gave me her chopsticks and found some others for herself.  They had sprite and pepsi for us.  Then the food started to come.  And come.  And come.  And come.  The food was tremendously good.  There was a rice and shrimp dish.  And some beef and vegetables.  There was most amazing fish I ever had with sweet and sour sauce.  A soup with half pumpkin half something purple in it side by side but not mixed in a ying yang shape.  There was fried rice and then a whole bunch of other stuff I didn’t get a chance to try.  Jemma was hungry so we were trying to keep her happy and fed.

We talked with the director a little bit.  She started working at the facility when she was 19.  She been there for 25 years.  Bethany told her she didn’t look old enough to have been their that long.  Our guide told us that in China it is not impolite to discuss a women’s age and informed us that the director was 44.  I had done the math already by that point.

After lunch we went down stairs and then walked to the front gate.  We had Jemma blow kisses to the three women who were our hosts.  We thanked the director for all that they did for Jemma.  She thanked us for adopting her.  We are truly grateful for the care she received and that there was a place for her until we could bring her home. Then Bethany walked out of the gate with Jemma.  For Ever.  She would never have to go back to that place.

I appreciated the facility being so nice.  It was great that it was so new and clean and had so many nice features.  It was comforting to know that Jemma had a nice place to wait for us to get her.

Then it was time to go look for Jemma’s finding place.  This is a hard to describe event.  It is paradoxical in many ways.  I wanted to see it to better understand her story.  For her sake.  For when she asks.  But as a parent it is a heart wrenching experience going to the place were your child was abandoned.  I’ll keep most of the details of this part of Jemma’s story private.  It wasn’t exactly clear where the location was, so we spent quite a while walking around the area.  So we got a good overview of the area.

As we walked around I wondered if Jemma’s parents were still there.  Were they from that place or had they traveled there?  Were they able to see us now?  What would they think?  How do their hearts feel after the tragedy of abandonment?  Did the people we asked for directions know more of her story?  Did they know her parents?  So many questions that will remain without answer.  I am grateful to the Lord that she was found, that He protected her, and that she is ours forever.  Amazing Grace.

We wanted to experience some of Suzhou, so we went to one of the famous gardens.  In ancient China, it had been the private garden of a single wealthy family.  It was quite the garden.  There were all sorts of rock formations, a huge pond, tons of trees, lots of rooms and walk ways.  After the difficulty of the day, it was nice to relax in the beauty of the garden.  We were able to buy some Suzhou embroidery as a keep sake for us, and one for Jemma to have when she is older.  

We then started the van ride home.  And by God’s grace Jemma slept for most of it.  We got back to the hotel around supper time.  Jemma had dinner and fell asleep fairly quickly.  I went to the nearby pizza hut and got pizza for Bethany and I.  Stuffed crust is a little different here - but just as delicious.  

After we ate, we face timed with the kids one by one.  Phoebe apparently grew up in a weeks time - it was amazing to see her so grown up!  Sammy liked telling us stories.  Our connection wasn’t strong so our picture kept cutting out for him - but we could still see him.  He kept saying what? in the most adorable voice ever.  Titus was super cute and liked hearing about the dog we saw poop on the side walk and then run into a store.  We had a good chat with Lily and enjoyed her smiles.

We then went to bed rather early.  It was a long hard day for all of us.