10/29/2012

Praying... Oh how I'm praying

Lord,

My heart feels like it's going to explode.  I feel like you're growing my heart towards adoption.  I've been reading and researching.  Many of the countries I've looked into are currently closed or I am not eligible because of being on the AD and having PPD.  But I came across the Philippines....

I know you know my heart - you created me this way.  But I don't want to run ahead of You.  I know that if this is Your will, You will create a sincere longing in Phil's heart as well.  I want Your Will above all, and I even hesitate to write my desires, but I feel foolish for not telling you my desires when You already know them and You know my heart wants what You want most.  So here they are, Lord...

I want another baby... soon.  I want Phil to feel a sense of urgency and love come from within.  I want to experience the "expecting" and "announcing" and "receiving" a new child through adoption similar to the births of my other children.  I want my children to experience another sibling and my family to expand and love another child.  I like it that the Filipino culture would be receptive of our Christianity.  I want to call the agency in our state and ask questions and get information.  But mostly I want Phil to want this independently from me.  If this is what YOU want, Lord, please grow his heart in a way that only You can.  I trust You and know that You know what is best for our family.  Please help me to be patient.

Lord Jesus, may I have another baby?

Not my will, but Yours.

Amen.

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